I Don’t Practice New Year’s Resolutions. Here’s What I Do Instead…
Over the years, I began to notice that I somewhat dreaded New Year’s. It was filled with expectations and pressure to change my whole identity by hitting the gym every day in January, and then frustratingly becoming tired of it all and feeling disappointed, as if I’d failed.
I now know why this perspective never worked for me.
The word resolution implies that there is something about you to resolve or fix. I’m here to tell you that you are in fact enough exactly as you are AND you can desire more for yourself. How we go about that is important to discuss. The new alternative is to connect with and get clear on what is desired from within, instead of looking outside of ourselves and hoping that new shake powder is “going to make you hotter”.
Summary: You do not need to be fixed. You are inherently worthy and perfect as you are. And, we’re going to align with that which we desire more of, that is directly from within the core of you.
What are resolutions? They are most often standards, expectations or activities outside of ourselves that we are told from society, media, and toxic friend Tina that we really ought to do because they will make you feel better about yourself; they will somehow make everything fantastic! in! life!
Now, this post does not exist to bash resolutions, it does exist however to make clear for those who, like me, never found success or enjoyment in making them, why it didn’t land. And to provide that alternative.
The reason resolutions never worked for you is because the motivation was entirely external to you. You were told that if you hit the gym everyday you would become your best, you’d get that guy Rob, and you’d land that promotion at work; (this is where Tina yells, “climb that societal ladder girl, you’re on fire!”).
So I’m here to propose the new opportunity.
Setting Intentions
What does this entail? Intentions are bringing awareness to that which is most aligned with your heart and authentic self at this time. Setting intentions is the active process or ritual of getting clear on and writing out what is most aligned and desired from the core of you (and not something external nor from ego).
I’ve been practicing intention setting for roughly three years, and I can confidently say that this process and ritual is one of the most supportive, enjoyable and fulfilling practices I do.
Intention setting is so much simpler. It comes from within you. This is why it’s meaningful, the motivation is intrinsic and is the opposite of performative. Where resolutions are for the ego, intentions are for your authentic self. And I don’t know about you, but creating a life that’s true to my authentic self feels much more meaningful than living for what it all looks like on the outside and feeding my externally-driven self-concept.
If I lost you, just boil it back down to this: Intention setting is a process of carving out space at the start of every year (and every month) to write out what is on your heart; what you want to experience and what is most meaningful to you now. What’s that goal you’ve had on the back burner for years? What is the feeling that you’d like to cultivate more of? Who is the person you want to meet this year?
The other beautiful aspect to intentions is that they bring clarity to what you desire, providing a foundational structure while leaving space for life to shift and evolve as you do. Resolutions require you to firmly apply a sort of all-or-nothing mentality that pushes you to do more, go harder, be better, achieve faster. Intention setting takes the rigidity out of the equation and allows you to be in ease.
Intention setting is a dedicated ritual of self-care for my personal growth and fulfillment. If you’re interested to try it yourself, I’d love to share my process with you.
Intention Setting 101
Grab a notebook or journal. You can use a specific one for intentions or whichever you have on the go, if you’re a regular journaler (yes, I made that a noun) like I am. Use your favourite pens, bring in any creative flair you may have or keep it simple - whatever is most YOU.
Make the space special for you: light a candle, grab your favourite drink, cozy up in a quiet corner.
Title the page, Intentions for 2024.
Now you’re going to brainstorm and allow that which comes up to scroll across the page. I like to do this in bullet point form. If you want to draw it out, do what naturally comes for you! Let this be as organic as possible. Consider what you deeply desire to experience, feel, try, see, achieve and how you want to grow. Don’t overthink it, let your intuition take the lead.
Once you’ve filled up a page, feel free to continue for as long as there are ideas. Read back your intentions when you’re done and let them sink and simmer. Allow yourself to see each of these as not only possible but entirely yours to claim and allow into your life.
Last year’s intentions: If you have completed intentions or something similar the year prior, go back and reflect on what you wrote down at the start of 2023 and check off what happened. Then take a look at anything that didn’t, and feel into the body if this is still a yes, something you still desire, or something that doesn’t align any longer. Add it to your new list if it’s a yes, re-clarifying what it means to you and why it’s important. I love this part! It’s so fun to see what you have crossed off, often without realizing until you reread your original year list.
You can come back to this list every season or as often as you like throughout the year. I also write intentions every month which really helps me focus as I go.
Again make this playful, light, and fun! Feel how joyful it is to bring into written form that which currently lives in your heart and soul. This is the first step in actually arriving to your goals.
The absolute beauty of setting intentions is that it cultivates a more mindful, enjoyable and full life.
If you’re interested in diving deeper into the process of intention planning for the entire year, each month, and beyond - you can grab my Intention Planning Freebie. I will also be hosting an upcoming live workshop at the beginning of the year if you prefer to be guided through. Be sure to fill in your email in the box at the bottom of this page to ensure you are notified when it comes out.
Happy Intention Setting!
x Jessie
